December 2010
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so today...
is the single most amazing day in all of history…
writingcreatively asked: (: what's your formspring?
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Todays Scorpio Horoscope
Today isn’t about ignoring real problems, it about relaxing and clearing your mind.
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Day 5: A time when you thought of ending your own...
Well theres no un-harsh way to put this, but I’ve thought about it a number of times but it’s all in my past and based on different situations. Once it was because of a medication i didn’t need but the Doc insisted. It put me in a crazy daze for days, scary stuff. Also, I had a rough childhood, anger would set me off and the brutality of my self harming thoughts soothed my anger....
painting on my walls.
tonight.
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Got a new notebook.
Throwing away the old me, its a brand new year (according to d.o.b.). Need a fresh first page to turn a new page in life. lol ^_^
officially have 10 followers
success
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If there is light, There is a shadow
Light: so do u like what I added to my status? or u think I fucked it up?
Shadow: nope its perfect
you should... write a book? lol
like i been preachin
Light: too lazy and no motivation...everyone listens with closed ears nowdays anyway...
too bad cuz I have alot to say...
Shadow: yeah i know what you mean, i think that too but you always have to keep in mind theres a handfull of people you forget to consider that would take it to heart
Light: im tryin to make excuses...let me be lazy dammit...
Shadow: no
just start writing it, take your time, youll know what to do with it when you are finished
Light: I actually will talk to anyone who listens...and I know I have moved a few hearts...its just so hard to write how I feel...
Shadow: get a damn recorder! somethin to document your words
Light: its so hard to get a recorder to uh...record how I feel...dammit...u suck lol...
Shadow: haha i know what im gettin you for xmas ^_^^_^
Light: I know i make it out to be a joke...but the way I see it the most important ppl in the world rnt important at all...
Shadow: not until the worlds realizes what they lost
Light: I could spend the rest of my life TRYING to change the world...or I can spend it around the ppl I love...the eyes I really want to open r all around me right now...and they can see what I convey...thats whats important to me...not the world...
wow...kinda sounds selfish when I put it like that...
Shadow: so you preach your own point of view to maybe inspire the ones you love. some might take that as a ticket and be sent off into the world where they would have to leave you behind... why wont you take your own words as a ticket?
Light: I will when the time is right...until then I would rather chill with my loved ones...I will go where I am intended to go...but I want my friends and family with me...I have been alone before...and I refuse to be alone again...even if I have to sell myself short...
Shadow: so thats your true desire.. It's not a bad one
Light: not very many ppl know that...Im afraid if ppl know they will stop listening...like I am tryin to force my religion on them...but its nothing like that...more like I want them to feel what I feel...
Shadow: Yeah, I know, I've never expressed my deepest desires, Im afraid they're too dark and take away from my impact on people.. blah blah
Light: no blah blah...I dont judge...my ears are open...
Shadow: I'm not ready for that one, I still havent quite figured it out myself
I will tho If i dont end up being even more self destructive than i already am
Light: I was just sayin Im here...and u dont need to be like that...ur an awesome person...attractive mind and body...fuck anyone who says otherwise...they just hatin...have more faith in urself...find whats important to u and never let go...
Shadow: Thank you, I'm tryin, but i harbor more negativity than one could imagine and i can never seem to break free, thats my mane struggle and the easiest way out is unspeakable either way...
I think I've brainwashed myself
Light: believe me I can understand the negativity...I have lived through things that ppl could only call nightmares...honestly...the trick is...u must embrace urself before anything else...its very hard...and u have to do it alone...but it can be done if u truly want it done...
Shadow: That and i have absolutely no faith in anything
By those means I'll end up pushing everyone I care about away, I feel like the end is just a big lose, A big Game Over.
But anyway, I dont really feel like talking about this anymore, Im outside my boundaries
waaay out
Light: well if I can ever help...just let me know...my words rnt as strong as I would like...but I would like to think they could help...if not then what chance do I have in changing anything...
anyways how is the weather over there?
Shadow: Lol full of defeat, think im gonna hit the sack soon
Did you let 'My Love' read this?
Light: I usually lie in my bed...not hit it...but whatever floats ur boat...no he is playin Dreamcast he just asked if u were mad at him...
Shadow: Ok.. let him know Im not, Ill ttyl, Gnite
Light: peace
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Day 4: Your views on religion.
This is one of the many things i have looked at from every possible angle. I used to struggle with it in so many ways. Instead of going into mostly unnecessary information on the subject I’ll stick to a quicker version of explanation. I respect another persons beliefs as long as they respect me for my own or the lack of. I pretty much leave everything having to do with this subject on a...
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Kiss like a rockstar. With all your soul. Every...
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Tightrope.
First, a push to the ledge
Then out comes the hand to help you
Putting you that much closer to the edge
Just helped pull me so close that I felt you
We were the first to be pulled together
So close that we couldn’t be pushed apart
It seemed that this would last forever
Until the day when everything in this world would turn to dark
We were l…ike a coin spending on the edge of...
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Last nights dream.
Well I’ll warn you before hand it was a pretty F’d up dream.
So to begin, a zombie apocalypse started in Australia, and was soon to sweep its way around the world. There were clips of massive hoards of zombies traveling afoot, across the oceans floor, in our countries direction. The scenes in my dream were very real and extremely horrific yet fascinating. Anyway, forgive me if...